Showing posts with label womanity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label womanity. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Lipstick Memories



Among the many complexities of being human is the desire to be remembered. That is why men and women go to great lengths – often expressed in simplified ways – to find themselves in the most far-flung place on earth: the other’s thoughts.

The other may have been a part of a relationship – that which has happened out of bizarre, unconventional circumstances; coincidences where we put meaning to, such that, they become a work of fate. It may be that, which have left us forever on a limbo, not really because the other has gone in the absence of verbal pronouncements, but rather, because we choose to look, with hope, not beyond the grey areas. It is the relationship that might as well never happened when it had, once, at a certain moment in our lives... and of the other’s life.

This realization creates a certain kind of fear among ourselves. We are afraid to be forgotten… more than we are afraid to forget.

Lengthier relationships have the privilege of creating bigger spaces for memories and more opportunities to create them. There will always be the missives that will recount lost affection, pictures that frame a face; an expression once worn, and videos that replay moments that will never happen again.

But what concession do short, unpronounced relationships deserve but only those as mere as a smudge of ourselves?

Lipstick – on the cup of coffee we consciously leave plunked on his cupholder; innocently smudged on his cheek after a goodbye kiss. Their fame is only good until the cup has been tossed to a waiting bin elsewhere along the road or until they have been smoothly erased by just one wipe of a hand.

Maybe lipstick on the collar is better in some ways. They linger for a few hours, overnight. They fade the next day, with soap and water, after a furious rubbing of two tightly closed fists.



TIP LINKS:
For women: How to avoid putting MAKE-UP IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES
For men: HOW TO CLEAN LIPSTICK FROM THE COLLAR

Photo credit: Stain Expert

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Comfort Women – Their Tales and Revelations Behind Closed Doors


One can look at prolonged comfort room breaks in two ways. It can be seen as an annoying phenomenon, as perceived by men. Or it can be regarded as a privilege to be upheld by girls and women alike.

What really goes on behind the closed doors of the female restroom is none of males’ business, though no woman will deny having men as a favorite restroom business agenda. Well, among many others.

So, what do women really do behind the closed doors of common washrooms? Why do they go in herds and make men hang on for what seems like longer than the wait they endure during courtship?

First of all, unlike men, women have to stand in queues for their turn to urinate. Women have to deal with more than just buckles, buttons and zippers. There are trousers or skirts, together with hosieries and underwear, which all have to be pulled all the way down to their knees… after the buckles, buttons and zippers have been loosened. Then, they have to reverse the entire process.

Hygiene and make-up re-touch are also among the reasons.

But the meat of this post actually lies on the supposition that one woman does not truly know another woman until she has shared a comfort room break with her. Many friendships have been formed inside the washroom. Some might have started with something as superficial as comparing each other’s lip tint. Some may involve a bit of mentoring, like showing someone how to properly apply liquid eye liner or teaching her the advantages of using a gel sun block over the lotion type. Some may have been born out of an act of kindness – giving someone a generous amount of pulls from her toilet paper or shelling out a peso or two for someone who needs a sanitary pad from the vending machine.

Girls excuse themselves in groups in the middle of dinner or a night out basically, to whip up a perfect plan for the night. Usually, girls take this opportunity to ask for their girl friends’ opinion of the guy they are with. In worst cases, the comfort room serves as the venue to discuss the great escape from a bad company.

True to its name, the comfort room provides comfort to distressed women; that is, comfort other than those which are biologically required. Many have shed uncontrollable tears while concealed in cubicles. Some girl friends take time to talk to their heartbroken friends inside the washroom.

Other than all these, women can nowhere else be as sincere as they are inside the four corners of the comfort room. They talk about their lives and of secrets best revealed in the hush-hush of this place.

It is most likely that men will be even more stupefied after reading this post. Why do women have to excuse themselves for comfort, is perhaps, their next question.

Well, the answer is simple. It is why they call them comfort rooms. :p

Friday, March 14, 2008

From The Guidon: Organizing Empowerment. The Cause and Struggles of Campus-Based Women's Organizations

This write-up by The Guidon, Ateneo's official English publication, makes me both proud to have started something together with a bunch of passionate men and women and saddened by not being able to secure Mulieris' sustainability even after I left Ateneo. (Note: Mulieris was conceived on 2003, officially formed on 2004 and existed till 2006)


Organizing empowerment. The cause and struggles of campus-based women’s organizations


by Ryan Edward L. Chua and Sara Mae Mawis


The Ateneo may have opened its doors to women 32 years ago, but a women’s organization has yet to survive on campus.


In Ateneo


In both the Ateneo and the University of the Philippines (UP)-Diliman, women’s organizations are struggling - forboth recognition and survival amidst doubts and skepticisms about their purpose and existence. While there havebeen attempts to start women’s organizations in the past, these organizations have been dissolved. Last year,however, another women’s organization was formed on campus. Mulieris, an unaccredited women’sorganization, was founded last year by Joyce Talag (AB DS '05). Talag describes Mulieris, derived from the Latin word for women, as a women’s organization that aims to promote awareness and responsiveness through projects that are socially-oriented in nature. It has a vision of a society that is aware of complex gender issues.


Christine Bellen, a faculty member of the Department of Filipino, is the moderator of Mulieris. Bellen believes that there is a real need to establish a women’s organization in Ateneo. She says that there are certain issues on women that need focus and discussion in the University. While there are no specific issues that pushed for Mulieris’ formation, Bellen says that Mulieris’ primary driving force is to provide an intellectual avenue to discuss women’s issues. "[Naniniwala kami] na ang mga babae, kasama sa mga pulitikal [at] intelektwal nausapin (We believe that women are part of political and intellectual issues)" ; she says.


Mulieris President Patricia Miranda (IV AB PoS) strongly believes in their purpose. "[Ateneo is] a school that has both men and women...how come there’s no representation of women," she says. She adds that thousands of women in society are affected by social stigma and sexist norms, and that they are here to make students aware of that.


Ma. Luisa Reyes, Ph.D., a faculty member of the Department of English and a founding member of the Kalayaan Women’s Organization, believes that since Patriarchy is an ideology that allows men to dominate, its effects are on a subconscious level. "When I was a student, dominant roles were given to the men [in group works and the student council]. Why? Because of certain ways of thinking that men should become presidents. People don't say that, but you know it's there." Reyes believes that the propagation of stereotypes or gender roles becomes natural and normal and that is why an organization is necessary. Mulieris Internal Vice President Mavis Jalbuena (III AB HUM) shares the same belief. She observes a lack of attention in Ateneo to women’s issues. She says they organized themselves to take the first step in promoting awareness. Jalbuena believes that due to their education, they have a social responsibility to less-educated women. "We see [that we’re] accountable for other women out there," she says. In targeting their main goals, they use the elements of education, outreach, and advocacy.


Efforts include organizing forums, symposia, and focus group discussions. They also immerse themselves into institutions such as the women’s correctional facility.


For men as well


Although it is a women’s organization, Mulieris is not exclusively for females. Bellen explains that they accept anyone regardless of gender as long as applicants are aware of women’s rights. Miranda says that they have an almost equal number of male and female members. She says that the organization believes that both sexes experience oppression. Bellen adds that having members of both genders proves that a lot of people want to understand gender issues.


In UP


Long before Mulieris was founded in the Ateneo, a women’s organization was active in UP Diliman. Founded in 1994, the General Assembly Binding Women for Reform, Integrity, Equality, Leadership, and Action (GABRIELA) Youth (GY) chapter in UP was conceived. There were many issues that pushed for its foundation, including the case of a former Economics professor who was molesting his female students. Unlike Mulieris, whose formation was not really marked by such immediate issues, GY’s founding was fueled by the increased hazards to women’s security in UP.


Cases of rape and other crimes against women throve on campus at the time that GY was established. GY Chairperson Madella Santiago says that their primary objective is to instill awareness of women’s issues. They initiate various programs and services that reach outside the UP campus. These include advocacy projects such as forums, class-to-class discussions, and immersions. They also take an active part in protests against social injustice like the Hacienda Luisita demonstrations. Aside from this, GY pushes for bills on women’s rights in Congress. The organization also offers legal services and counseling to victims of gender discrimination and sexual harassment.


Another active women’s organization in UP is the Delta Lambda Sigma (DLS) Sorority founded in 1946. Unlike most sororities, DLS President Francesca Baltazar says they are different. Contrary to many people’s notions of sororities, they are aimed at service. "We’re not just here for ourselves. We’re here to serve other people," she says. According to her, although women nowadays are not as oppressed as they used to be, there is a need to bind women in discussion of issues that affect them. As a sorority, they help raise awareness and glorify womanhood and women empowerment.


GY in Ateneo?


According to Bellen, a chapter of GY used to exist in Ateneo with Ma. Teresa Tinio of the Department of English as its moderator. It was, however, eventually dissolved. Miranda wonders why GY did not succeed. She has also heard of another group called Medusa that was created in the Ateneo, but disbanded. She hopes that Mulieris would be the first women's organization in Ateneo to survive.


Making it


Surviving in the Ateneo needs a lot of work. While GY was recognized in UP almost immediately after it was formed, Mulieris is one of the many organizations undertaking the long process of accreditation in the Ateneo. Before it gets to enjoy the benefits of being an accredited Ateneo organization, Mulieris must undergo a tedious evaluation process administered by the Office of Student Activities (OSA). OSA Director Miriam delos Santos describes the accreditation system as complicated. She says it’s a yearlong process of data-gathering, surveying, and evaluating based on a number of criteria. Mulieris expressed intent for accreditation last March 2004. It needs to sufficiently meet the criteria on Ignatian values and practice, character formation and competence training, and social involvement to get approval. The disadvantages of unaccredited organizations include not being allowed to reserve venues for activities until three days before the event. "Even though we’d like to bypass the whole accreditation [process] and work just for the love of women’s issues and women’s rights, at some point we really need funding and support from the school to actually be successful," she explains. Bellen agrees. She says that they would like to start more projects, but being unaccredited often prevents them since they do not receive a budget from the administration. Nevertheless, Bellen feels that the Ateneo is supportive of their cause since their projects still get approved. She describes the Ateneo as a community that is always open to changes. She says, however, that there are limitations since it is a Catholic university with conservative values. Delos Santos says that the Ateneo is very much open to the idea of having a women’s organization in campus. "Women’s rights are still human rights, [and] I think the Ateneo as an institution would always want to uphold human rights," she says.


Struggle for recognition


Whether Mulieris receives support and acceptance from the Ateneo community in general is still debatable. Miranda shares that there are still a lot of people who question the idea of having a women’s organization in campus. She says that there are even students who say that there’s no need to have an organization like Mulieris, and some would even accuse the members of being lesbians. Mulieris Advocacy Head Joel Barredo (IV AB PoS) admits that the school was quite skeptical about their organization when it was still at its initial phases of formation. This doubt, according to Miranda, is always cast upon organizations which push for certain beliefs or ideologies. Mulieris External Vice President Charvic Flores (IV AB IS) says that they really have beliefs that some people may not agree with. Thus, they are not that aggressive in recruitment. Barredo says the community is supportive of them in some ways.


"The fact that we have a moderator from the faculty is also a kind of support from the academe," he explains. Bellen says that so far, no single person or group has ever openly expressed sentiments against Mulieris. She believes that the Ateneo community respects the thrust of their organization. GY faces the same problem. Despite being an already stable and established organization, Santiago says that they still face skepticism about the necessity of organizations such as theirs. Some of their projects were affected by this way of thinking. For instance, Santiago says that the GY-sponsored staging of the play The Vagina Monologues during last Women's Month celebration did not push through in other schools, like Miriam College and Ateneo. Santiago thinks that people might have prejudged the play because of its suggestive title, despite the fact that it is about women's struggles in society.


Santiago believes they face widespread apathy from students. A lot of them are indifferent towards women’s issues and to the organization’s struggles. Reyes explains that such indifference comes from a society where patriarchy is not obvious yet is extremely powerful.


Views on women’s organizations


According to Reyes, this is where the role of women’s organizations comes in. She stresses that women are often boxed within certain oppressive standards and are stereotyped in society. "We need an organization that will pay attention to that," she says. Baltazar, on the other hand, believes that there’s nothing wrong with forming a women’s organization. According to her, establishing such movements does not attack the other sex.


"We are not against men. Rather, we are here to protect our rights," she explains. Miranda also believes that although their organization is inclined towards women, they are more into gender equity. "Every time you liberate the woman, you [also] liberate the man. It’s not just helping women. You help both," she says.


Santiago supports the point, adding that issues against women should not be blamed on men. She says that societyitself has its flaws that need to be addressed, and doing so lies in organizations like GY.


Surviving


Despite the odds, these three organizations manage to survive. Miranda, Santiago, and Baltazar all say that what keeps them alive is the deep friendship and passion ingrained in each member of their organization. Santiago claims that she and other GY members are willing to die for their cause and convictions.


Reyes believes that whether a women’s organization like Mulieris will survive depends largely on the members themselves. "The victim must fight for herself. If the victim doesn’t fight for herself, nobody’s going to fight for [her]," she says.


While GY and DLS are both eyeing numerous projects outside their campus, Mulieris, while awaiting official recognition, focuses inside the Ateneo community. They are planning activities to stir students’ interest in women’s issues.


Mulieris Marketing and Finance Head Michelle Ordoveza (IV BS ME) points out that many Ateneans fail to see that the world outside the Ateneo lacks gender equality. Jalbuena stresses the need to help students step out of their comfort zones and face things that happen outside our small world. Bellen, on the other hand, says that although Mulieris is still a diminutive force in upholding women's rights and social justice, every little contribution is important in the long run.



With a report from Fatima R. de Lara


http://www.theguidon.com/ - The GUIDON


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In light of the Women's Month Celebration

Forgive me for posting no-brainers for the past weeks. And most of all, forgive me too for not coming up with something for the Women's Day last week.

While ideas for topics have been popping in my head, believe me, I am really having a hard time typing them down. I will be writing two women-focused articles... with more substance. But for the meantime, I'll let you read something women-inspired, which was written by Rick Olivares in his blog, Bleacher's Brew.

Please read A Woman's Touch: How the co-educational system changed the Ateneo forever.

Happy reading! =)