A 36-C... you want?

Disclaimer: This breast is not mine.

IT IS A FACT that the desire for big boobs transcends class, race and gender. Women can opt for Belo or some obscure (or even fake) cosmetic surgeons for augmentation. They can be black, white, Puerto Rican, Chinese or Pinay and, still, wish upon the Boob Fairy to make their breasts a cup size higher. Most of all, the desire for big boobs is "felt" by men, women and those who are in between. (I'm sure I do not need to explain why.)

It is frustrating to think that because of too much aesthetic and erotic value being attributed to a woman's breasts, their purpose has been limited to serve the male libido. It is evident in pornography and every other product that is targeted towards the male market like magazines, booze, cigarettes and cars. Promotions of these products always include big-busted women in cleavage-baring outfits gracing print ads, TVCs or exhibits where they work as promo girls.

Most of us seem to have forgotten the breast's biological purpose or in other words, its life-giving purpose. To the women, it is quite basic -- YOUR BREASTS ARE MADE TO NURSE YOUR YOUNG AND NOT YOUR MAN!

Needless to say, women must take good care of their breasts not for the purpose of having something good at the hem of their low necklines. Likewise, men should learn how to tame their cravings by making themselves aware of the risks that women take when they undergo surgical enhancements for the male benefit.

October is BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH.

According to Breast Cancer Awareness Group, I Can Serve Foundation, breast cancer is the leading cause of death among Filipino women. It ranks third among the leading cause of mortality and morbidity among Filipinos. That is, it is next to infectious and cardiovascular diseases. (So you can worry about it next after a feast of lechon kawali, crispy pata and lechong baka.)

While the disease is mostly diagnosed among women who are 35 to 50 years old, it does not mean that one can never be at risk in her 20s. In fact, women must conduct a monthly Breast Self Exam (BSE) about a week after her period. By age 30, besides a BSE, women must have a clinical exam every year. By age 40, besides a BSE and a clinical exam, women must have an annual mammography. (I Can Serve)

The thought of mammography can be quite a torture but let us be quite thankful that we, here in my Multiply, belong to the 40 and below bracket.

Conducting BSE is very simple. BC advocates Dawn Zulueta and Lea Salonga have DVDs in Filipino and English, respectively, that show how to perform the self-exam. Click here to be directed to the site.

Meanwhile, I found this 5-Step BSE when I wrote my Breast Cancer Awareness Month piece last year. You can bookmark the site.

View: The 5 Steps of a Breast Self-Exam

My permission goes to everyone who would like to forward this to their family and friends for advocacy purposes.


Photo taken from http://www.cosmeticplastics.com/images/breastlift.jpg
Statistics and information from:
Parallel Universes - Breast Cancer in the Philippines
I Can Serve Foundation
BREASTCANCER.ORG

Self-enhancement Workshop

I was once again invited by Systems Plus College, Angeles City to conduct a self-enhancement workshop for their college freshmen. This year, the topics were Time Management and Self-Awareness. For the sake of marrying both concepts, I gave my workshop the title: From Good Times to the Good Life.

I love giving trainings. As many might not be aware, everything started in grade school. I always felt like it was a privilege to be assigned as a student-teacher to younger grade levels everytime the teachers have to converge for seminars or meetings.

Eventually, my parents would ask me to handle some personality development sessions in their training center for healthcare workers and as well as in their colleagues' centers. I cannot really remember them much but I am sure that the experience helped me overcome my fears of teaching older, more experienced people than I am.

Later on, I joined one of the country's pioneer speech and personality schools as a part-time speech coach. It was a short stint. But it always felt great to have students thanking me for helping them improve their lives or even requesting me to handle their next classes!

I was able to learn much from my boss (who quite resembles Meryll Streep's character in The Devil Wears Prada) who brought me along with her in her corporate trainings. The experience gave me a good back-up when I was later promoted as a sales trainer at a multinational bank. There, I trained direct and tele-sales associates. I was able to build good "mentor-slash-friend" relationships with most of my trainees that I kind of became their "go-to girl" when they were already on the field. (Gahd, I miss them.)

For the past two years, I have received a couple of invitations for various speaking engagements. Some did not materialize out of constraints on schedule. But lately, I have been thinking of doing this regularly -- with or without honoraria, depending on the cause and the audience, just so I can continue my personal advocacy, which is to help empower people.

Last year, I was able to make young men and women come up and speak about their insecurities. According to them, the experience was very liberating. In the process, I felt the same way too, and at the same time, humbled, for I have to do it myself to be able to get my audience do it.

Preparing and giving trainings is a 2-way learning process. While they are mainly opportunities to transfer knowledge, I cannot discount the fact that as a speaker or a trainer, I also learn much from the process.

I am glad to have gotten very good feedback from my audience. But it ends there if I was not successful about inspiring and motivating them to live better lives.

We'll see. I always check with my contacts how well they are faring. My prayers for now.

Under A Woven Canopy: A Banig Painting Exhibit by Jomike Tejido

My bosses and I got invites from Haribon Foundation to attend the launch of this exhibit. Missed it. But anyway, there's still a lot of time to check Jomike Tejido's banig paintings.

Meanwhile, you may read a backgrounder written by the artist himself. Click here to read it.

Join the EARTH HOUR

On 29 March 2008 the Philippines will join countries around the world as we literally "turn the lights out" for Earth Hour - an event that will fuel awareness on climate change and prove that when the people of the world work together, they can make a difference in the fight against global warming.

Earth Hour will take place throughout the Philippines from 8 to 9 pm on Sat, 29 Mar. 2008. WWF invites you to participate by shutting off lights for 60 minutes, organizing your own "lights-out" event or by forwarding this mail to your friends, workmates and family.

Launched in Australia on the 31st of March 2007, Earth Hour moved 2.2 million people and 2100 businesses in Sydney to turn off their lights for one hour. This massive collective effort reduced the city's energy consumption by 10.2% for one hour. With Sydney icons like the Harbour Bridge and Opera House turning their lights off and unique events such as weddings by candlelight, the world took notice. Inspired by the collective effort of millions of Sydneysiders, many major global cities are joining Earth Hour in 2008, turning a symbolic event into a global movement.

Today's buildings account for:
12% of world's water use
40% of world's greenhouse gas emissions
65% of world's waste output
70% of world's electricity consumption

Green Buildings save:
30% in energy
35% in CO2 emissions
30–50% in water use
50–90% in waste costs

beneficiALI. An Ayala Land Campaign for Sustainability.

YOUR participation will go a long way in spreading the message that we, as individual droplets working collectively – can create an impetus far more powerful than the mightiest of rivers. For more information, log on to the WWF Earth Hour page at: http://www.earthhour.org/.

If you want to learn more about how else you can help make Earth Hour in the Philippines a success, reply to this email or drop us a line at (632) 920-7931, (632) 920-7923, or (632)920-7926

How I Finally Ditched that Yo

Just like any drama queen for a girlfriend, I called it quits with Mr. Yo for quite a million times already. And as always, all the goodbyes resulted into reconciliation. So after a day, two days, a week, a couple of weeks or a few months at the longest, Mr. Yo and I are one again.

As the old, familiar saying: you sow an action and reap a habit; you sow a habit and reap a character; you sow a character and reap a destiny goes, I started smoking as a mere social action. I admit--without the slightest bit of shame, that I tried smoking out of satisfying my curiosity and succumbing into peer pressure. Later on, this mere social action became a habit. It became an activity after class, during long breaks, before and after an exam, after eating and while drinking coffee and booze.

It was a costly habit. Just like most women I know, I started with West Ice, Capri and DJ Mix strawberry. Let's say that I consumed a pack a day (including the bums), at P50 a day then, it could've been enough to feed someone everyday. Since I've gone for the cheaper Winston and Marlboro Lights, every year, I spent P9,000 for cigarettes.

Because it was hard to let go of something which became a habit. I pretty much became dependent on cigarettes. Mr. Yo was my ever reliable buddy. He accompanied me on stressful days like on hell weeks when there were so many papers and exams. He was there with me on cold, lonely nights when I was faced with teenage heartbreaks. And he made the best partner-in-crime: he made gimmick and drinking nights funner than what could've been without them.

I was a Yosi Girl and it was both a character and a fate which I did not feel like changing.

You see, those informational campaigns didn't work on me (and I guess on majority of smokers). I was grossed by the chemicals present in a stick of yosi and what that stick can possibly cause to my body organs. But it did not move me to stop smoking. The dad or the uncle of who who had to live on soup and Jell-Os coz solid food just can't go through his throat did not also bother me at all.

Yes, I have been cautious. As a part of an organization which advocates against cancer (good grace, I know I've been such a hypocrite), I decided that if I cannot quit then I might as well become a responsible smoker. I only smoked in designated areas for smoking and I made sure that no non-smoker--without their consent, inhaled the fumes of my cigarette. I thought that if I sinned because I knew that I was killing myself out of the habit, I was doing less evil by sparing others from second hand smoke.

I may not have died from a smoker's disease but then came the day when I slowly started to zoom into the teeny weeny effects of smoking on my skin, breath and respiration. Yes, I hated the eeky smell that the cigarette left on my fingers and clothes. Yes, I dreaded the fact that smokers' skin age faster. Yosi became that bad for me that even my body refused another puff whenever I forced myself to smoke.

How I quit started with an act. It was an act that sprang from the will and the choice of not smoking. Soon, refusing to smoke became a habit. Then because habits make a character out of us, I was no longer among the smoker's click. Nobody in the office thought of me as Yosi Girl. Even former yosi buddies did not think of me as a smoker anymore. And because of this, I was able to reverse my destiny.

I am happy that I no longer feel the urge to smoke. I am happy that I no longer feel tempted by friends who smoke. And most of all, I am happy that I can already cope with stress, heartbreaks and other problems without the aid of Mr. Yo.

I realized that quitting is an act of self-empowerment. If you ditch that yo for good, then you stand an inch higher on your heels.

* * *
Thanks to the power of institutions to change habits. Laws and ordinances that prohibit smoking in crowded places made people smoke less. Yes, thank you Ateneo for the smockets or the SPGs (later on, wala na talaga). Thank you Mayor Binay for making Makati the first Philippine city to prohibit smoking in buildings; Davao and other cities followed.

And thanks to my daughter. Because of my pregnancy and breastfeeding days, I knew that it was indeed possible to quit. So for her, I give her the assurance that I won't leave her because of dying from a smoker's disease.

Images from viraltrivedi.wordpress.com, www.crestock.com and www.library.nhs.uk.

The Filipina Writing Contest

A couple of months ago, we were outraged by the FilipinaBride.Com, which is supposedly a spoof for the international perverts-or-hopeless con romantics who use the internet to look for their Filipina subjects.

While concerned groups have been successful with soliciting support and a couple of reactions from Filipinos, there weren't much efforts gathered for eliminating the "Filipina bride" impression of many on Filipino women. Most actions were geared towards the site owners; they were attacks to specific groups or individuals like the pervs that I was talking about in the first paragraph. None of them countered the real enemy: the negative perception of the Filipina.

Fighting this enemy is a big challenge. This is mainly because we are dealing with individual psychos...err... I mean psyches and as well as a whole bunch of social constructions which have long been a mainstream for a significant number of ignoramuses.

Last August, another social barrier has been broken; another line has been crossed for the Filipino women. Janette Toral's brainchild, The Filipina Writing Contest, has the following aim:

"... to influence and change the impression about the Filipina by having relevant content appear in the first page of major search engines."

There were around 80 entries to this campaign and the awarding was held last 28 November 2007 at Ponciana's Kitchen along Timog Avenue.

Now ladies and gentlemen, the winners:

The judges' Most Liked Entries and won US$100 each.
The Funniest Filipina Vloggers
Ako si Pina.. At ito ang aking kuwento...
Superiority of Women in the Philippine Society

US$100 Winners in the raffle:
Filipina as Other (Betsy's!)
Two Popular and Unique Individuals, Both Filipina
The Filipina Campaign (Aiza's! Birthday gift!)
Filipina 2007

For the SEO competition part, the following won US$100:
Google - Filipina (marhgil's)
Yahoo - Filipina (marhgil's--lucky, lucky guy na nagrereklamo pa!)
MSN - Hindi lang Filipina Dating, Dating Filipina, Wow Filipina talaga!

For thoseShortlisted entries' prizes:
One (1) Customized Banner or Button (Thanks Juan Karlo Licudine!)
Filipina Pride
Three (3) Wordpress t-shirts for entries with link to our partner FilipinaImages.com (Thanks Noemi Lardizabal Dado!)
Filipina Ako. I am a Filipina
A Topless Filipina in Europe
Maria “Ria” A. Jose is a Filipina
Two (2) Strategic Problogging Audio E-Book (Thanks Manuel Viloria!)
Filipina Since Birth
Story of a Young Filipina Woman - The Fighter in Me
The following got a one-year individual membership in the DigitalFilipino.com Club.
A Different Filipina
Proudly Pinay: The Filipina Who Strut on Her Heels (wow! this IS mine!)
Macho I Love Yous
The Filipina in the Eyes of the World
Adobong Pinay
Ang mga Filipina ng Buhay Ko
Filipina works! Abroad
Podcast/Vlogs creation effort
Hot Filipina
The Portrait of a Japayuki as a Filipina
Google Suggested Pinay Scandal
What is a Filipina?
3 Things You Possibly Do Not Know about the Filipina

Congratulations to all (since I think everyone won a prize in the raffle)! And of course, congratulations to Ms. Janette!

To know more about the project, click here.
To know more about the winners and sponsors, click here.

Filipina Writing Contest EB

My first EB. Ever.

The experience was fun: a yummy buffet, a lechon (that I was craving for a few days before), lotsss of cool prizes and most of all, lots of friendly, unassuming, down-to-earth people. I was lucky to have known Ms. Janet Toral and the rest of my seatmates at the LUCKY TABLE--Betsy, Jehzeel (tama ba?!), Aiza, Arbet (Loggins) and Mar. (Guys, if ever you find this post, please correct me if I got your names wrong.) Guess what? I won a $25-worth GC from regaloservice.com =)

I'll be posting the links to the winning entries as soon as someone posts them.

L is for Lucky!

Woman, what makes you think that you're not vulnerable to violence?

Has a date ever forced himself to you? Was it a wet, unwanted kiss that was planted on your lips or even all over your face? Ugh. I know. Face rape.

Was it a boyfriend, a fiance, a husband, a ka-cherva or whatsoever who took advantage of your drunkeness? Did he ever tease you or talk to you in a manner that was offensive and unwelcome? Did he ever slap you or grab you?

Was there ever a professor, a boss, an officemate or a client who insinuated sex for a favor or as an utang-na-loob? Were you offended?

Well, unless they are invited and unless you have a penchant for sadomasochism and role playing, then woman, I am telling you now:

YOU ARE A VICTIM.

A lot of women who are victims of violence do not even know that they are victims. If they know it, they would rather suffer in the dark: stifling cries and concealing bruises.

Sometimes,.we think that just because we belong to the privileged class (middle-class and up), it is a shame to be in this situation. Or sometimes, we are afraid of speaking up because we might make a fool out of ourselves or because we have to go through the painful process of demandahan and besides, it may cost us our job and reputation.

Break the culture of silence. Speak up. There are Women's Desks to provide you the assitance that you need. For a complete list, go to FemaleBattle.Net:Get Help

A White Ribbon in the Dark

Photo from White Ribbon Day Website

http://www.whiteribbonday.org.au/

It is hard to be passionate about battling violence against women when one belongs to the privileged class. It is even harder to convince men and women from the same group to join in the movement--knowing that they are most likely to fall on deaf ears.

Sad to say that while many remain indifferent, the fact is women are vulnerable to violence no matter what their social orientation is. Sure, we get to watch them in the news or hear them whispered by your chismosa friend. It's not something new but at least for you, in your Imeldiffic glory, it is a rarity.

I am sorry to say this, but, you're wrong.

Based on the statitics that Gabriela was able to gather from the Philippine National Police, 3 women and 9 children were raped everyday from January to September 2003. On the same period, 12 women and 5 children were battered everyday. (Source: Philippine Daily Inquirer Feb. 29, 2004)

I have heard of first to second-hand experiences of women who have been victims of date rape, attempted rape and boyfriend battering. One of them includes that of a girl who went to one of those upscale exclusive high schools and who was gang raped by his date and the friends of his date. The guys also went to another school of that sort.

The main reason why violence against women seems rare is because it happens in the dark: they happen in the night at the talahiban; they happen in a desserted school building; and worst of all, they happen behind closed doors at home. Women are ashamed of being victims. They are afraid of their perpetrators. That is why the victims have to stifle their cries, conceal their bruises and cover up for the bad guys. And because of this, the women continue to suffer; the bad guys go on with inflicting violence against women.

In an effort to eliminate VAW, the men in Australia, and in other parts of the world, support the White Ribbon campaign every 25th of November. It is good to know that men are now aware of their role in VAW and also in putting an end to it.

Three years ago, Mulieris organized a talk which we entitled: GIVE WAY TO THE RIGHTS OF WOMEN. After a blow-the-whistle campaign in the morning (which was a call to break the culture of silence among women), we were able to gather 114 male and female students coming from various year levels and courses to listen to the testimonies of three victims of VAW and a presentation of Tinay Palabay, Gabriela's Secretary-General.

It is time that men be the white ribbon in the dark. It is the time for them to take an active role in eliminating violence against women.

November 25 is the INTERNATIONAL DAY TO ELIMINATE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN.

For the guys, this is how you can help in the campaign: What Can One Man Do?

Suffer for beauty, oh bitchy one

Across borders and throughout centuries, women's relationship with beauty is that of an S&M.

Back in our school days, we have read about tribal women who chisel their teeth, pierce their nipples, drill big holes on their ears and put huge tattoos all over their bodies. In the Victorian era, women endured breathlessness and pain in the middle section in order to attain the hourglass figure that corsettes gave. A thousand years ago and until the early 1900s, in China, women suffered the excruciatingly difficult process of breaking and binding the foot; a lifelong tremendous effort for beauty.

These days, women still suffer, though in less absurd ways. We spend hours in the gym motivated by the "no pain, no gain" mantra just so we can achieve the look or the feeling that we want. We lie on the derma's beds, which are actually beds of roses and thorns, as we stifle the screams of pain from the pricking and inserting of needles used in procedures to eliminate flaws or even change the way we look. In more simple events, many of us go for toners with the astringent effect or tend to sacrifice comfort for style like enduring the pain from dancing all night in sexy stilettos. And in some ways, we also have to repress the pain that our affinity for beauty causes to our pockets.

Speaking in terms of sex and bitchhood, I say that the quest for beauty is similar to losing one's virginity. Along the lines of pricking, waxing and threading; it always really hurts on the first time. But since it made you look and feel good, the saying that "once you pop, you can't stop" applies. It goes on to the point that you finally find yourself addicted to pain--living through and loving it; knowing that glory awaits the brave ones.

For hundreds and thousands of years, women have suffered in the name of beauty. While we maintain that to look good is our primary motivation, we leave in the shadows the reasons behind our sadomasochistic approach to beauty. Okay, we want to feel good about ourselves. But why? Can we not feel good even without having to go through such process?

I believe that the raison d'etre lies on the lines of acceptance. In an article on the Lotus Foot, I found this:
"The driving force behind this desire was complex: it had to do with marriage;
it had to do with sex; it had to do with status; it had to do with beauty; it
had to do with duty."
(Footwear Fetish - An Erotic Tradition, http://www.shoeworld.com)

These days, it is not just fair for women to blame men for their sufferings. The quest for beauty has something to do with acceptance from the opposite sex or from persons within the ranks found in the social circles where we find ourselves in. It may be to appease the wants of a domineering mother; the conditions of a meticulous lover; the observant eyes of a discriminating social butterfly; or the requirements of a tyrannical boss. Beauty just seems to be a social requirement--where the requirement varies from one social circle to another.

Vicky Belo, a world-renowned cosmetic doctor, has been capitalizing on these social requirements to encourage more women to be valiant about addressing their aesthetic insufficiencies. I do not intend to give her any negative associations for this because what she says is basically true!

I remember in my Theology on Marriage and Sexuality classes that even the late Pope John Paul II says that love starts with attraction. And how in the world can a man single out a female in a room full of them without his own requirement?

In jobs, priority is usually given to the applicant who looks more charming--assuming that all applicants have the same credentials. The same goes with women in sales-oriented careers. The initial requirement is always a good and pleasing personality (which I think is really a good and pleasing appearance). Only after she meets this, will she get the honchos to listen to what she has to present.

The feminists have been successful with attacking the footbinding tradition in China and so are those who fought against other seemingly obscure practices like the stretching of mouths and sculpturing of teeth. But still, there are new traditions to contest and since most of them have become ironically acceptable, we leave them the media and the catwalks for their battlefields.

The "enemy" in the first place is not the men in general but rather, the social constructions made by men and women alike.

Note: The title was fed to me by a man who does not wish to be named.

Photo from www.healthy-temple.com