It’s been years.
But again, I find myself on the edge of a road I have long forgotten about -- grappling against doubts. Alone... because you are no longer here.
Deciding to go against my qualms, I see how much of the scene has changed – the old shops have closed to be replaced by others, some lands cleared to give rise to new villages. It is now an unknown territory, yet, the road seems to have preserved its silence.
I remember how this silence enveloped us – hand in hand – on our late night drives when the alcohol has already robbed us of words.
Nothing mattered then for we were sure about where we were headed to. I was calm and in place, knowing that I was in good hands. In the darkness, you could safely drive through this steep, winding road in the speed of light. On the other hand, you were secure to have me around like a map, pointing out in jest that women, having excellent intuitions, must have a better sense of direction.
If this is so, then was it my fault that we have lost our way? Have I failed to guide our relationship to its destination? Or was it you whose recklessness caused us to plummet to our end?
It is too late for this.
Time may have abstracted most signs on the road but today, I realize that it cannot really obscure memories.
We have long departed our seats in each other’s lives. I am alone and at times, I am afraid.
Somehow, I wish that you could meet me at the end of the road.
Written in thoughts 16 Sep 08. On the way home from Caliraya.
Suddenly - Soraya
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