Surreal Conjunctions

First of all, the writer regrets deleting the original piece “A Surreal Conjunction” along with three or four other blog entries, which she wrote from the period of June to August 2008. Surreal Conjunctions is an attempt to write about how she feels about this heavenly phenomenon as an aftermath of the events that took place during the aforementioned period.

Conjunction is a term used in positional astronomy and astrology. It means that, as seen from some place (usually the Earth), two celestial bodies appear near one another in the sky. The event is also sometimes known as an appulse.
-Wikipedia

Who would have thought we'd ever happen?

You and I have our own carefully calculated places in the universe; spinning in our own axes; moving, revolving on our own paths and yet, we collide – at least from the earth's point of view – such that we fulfill a certain scientific prophecy: the conjunction.

We happened (and we ended) for a split second in the universe's time.

Isn't it amazing how two different people, created by a series of unfortunate accidents, meet and come together in the most unlikely place and time? For somehow, the universe knows how to cooperate. There's always a way in space to give rhyme to the countless beating humdrums of stars and planets... and of rocks.

Why do we always have to see conjunctions from the face of the earth? Why do relationships always have to be judged from a third person's point of view? Will these judgments ever be fair knowing that sentiments are confined within the person who feels them?

Maybe we did not really happen. Maybe we just imagined we did.

How we found ourselves “occupying the same position in the right ascension” for our observer's point of view remains a mystery we dare not solve. By doing this, we have denied ourselves of possibilities; of a rarity that everyday people fail to see.

It is now all about finding a scientist – a mad man; a lonely boy on the face of the earth – who will take time to see the beauty of it all. And who, most of all, will be crazy enough to believe about how each of us felt.

Will we both live to find ourselves in another conjunction?

End Note: I will be taking a break from blogging. So enjoy your flodd-free inboxes for the next couple of days or weeks. xD

Halves

Brok'n hearts

bleeding,

lost souls

searching --

weaken'd

by gaps;

weightless

when one.

A heart that’s whole knows no discomfort. It has pieces that are complete and complementing. There are no deep voids that seek for a fill; no hollow spaces that call for a push.

However, we, ourselves, seem to unconsciously betray our hearts. As humans, bearing the gift of infinity threatens the snugness of pieces perfectly made for each other. We change. Continuously. Our day-to-day experiences mold certain sides of our hearts that soon, we realize, we have developed sharper edges that harm and at the same time, fatter curbs in our defense.

Our partners change just like us. Sadly, however, they do not change their pieces in proportion to ours. They have their own sundry ways of transforming. Often, and without us knowing, we prick them with our own sharp edges. Sometimes, it is us who gets pierced.

This is how the heart learns about discomfort. This is how humans suffer: broken in halves, lost and alone.

Many of us try to make broken pieces fit again by desperately twisting and turning parts of ourselves. We make half-hearted compromises and declarations of forgiveness though we have not really forgotten. We try to cling to others no matter how their edges hurt. We forget about ourselves. Or we think too much of ourselves and shut out all attempts for contact. All these efforts are futile. They result into further, separated disfiguration. We remain weak and apart.

Space: “the boundless regions of the infinite.” Many of us dread to hear the word uttered in the midst of conflict. Painful, it is. But it is the only possibility that a half-hearted act can give best.

After a while, the weight of separation will be lifted. We realize that the heart magically heals itself when it gets to bask in the gift of humanity: to be weightlessly floating on limitless space. This is how people, dance.

Images by Joyce.

February Poetry

I loved you.


I loved you
in ways you'll never know;
of unseen tears
borne from the years
that passed a summer night
of forgotten youthful joys.

I loved you
out of togetherness and without,
of the few, scattered days
that followed that summer night--
my love unspoken
and yours unfound.

In the years that passed,
I loved you
in the absence of inspiration:
no mad sketches,
spontaneous proses
nor poetry.

But today,
I just remembered.

I loved you.


by JoyceTalag. 02/01/2009



Today


Today, I thought I saw you;
the familiar head, upright,
among the many other praying heads,
bowed, to fill early morning voids,

in the midsection,

I thought I saw you.


by Joyce Talag. 02/03/2009

For Kids w/ Single Parents: Barney's Everyone is Special

I've been quite apprehensive about having to explain our not-so typical family set up to Krissy, especially since she's entering pre-school this June. Krissy's in the stage when she would ask about 150 Why Questions a day, often, starting at the moment she opens her eyes. It gets tiring at times yet, I cannot really give an unthought of answer for the consequence will be more questions that seem to test my consistency.

Anyway, my apprehension has caused me to seek advice whenever I get into mommy talk with some older colleagues and friends. One of the nicest explanations I've heard was for me to tell my daughter that not all families are the same. There are those with both moms and dads, those with just a mom and a pair of grandparents and so on.

However, I feel the need to come up with a medium that will best illustrate this explanation to a 3-year old. I thought of coming up with an alternative storybook. But then I do not have much time on my hand to make the drawings, though, I have the storyline plotted in my head :p



Then came one afternoon when one of our volunteer storytellers, Ms. Wennie, suggested that I look for a certain Barney DVD: Everyone is Special. The first part, My Family and Me, talks about the different kinds of families. It gave a very simple illustration of families, which I'm pleased with as I do not want to bring much hype to my state, at least in Krissy's perspective. In the end, Barney said that everyone who cares about us is considered a part of our family.

Meanwhile, those who are expecting another child may also find this DVD useful as the second part is about having siblings and families growing and changing.

I bought the DVD on sale at O Music Greenbelt 1. But for those who like to shop online, click here to purchase from Amazon.

still

still

i hear you:
a whisper
in the dark,
an echo
amongst a crowd,
a hum
lost in speech.

once i

created a poem;
gave rhyme
to your words,
left mine
in my head
for those
i can't tell

you.

cafe thoughts
01/20/09, 7:15 AM


photo credit: crazymynd at deviant art.

Estella

Her name is Estella: a by-product of a cosmic collision some twenty-three years ago. Many would think of her as the spook of a love that was halted by a conspiracy of the universe. To others, however, she is as real as any human, in flesh and bones, on the face of the earth. Beautiful yet imperfect.

She often gazes at the stars; wondering why she ever does in the first place. Is it because she was human – alone in the universe on a cold and dark night?

She closes her eyes and aspires the day when another lone stargazer disrupts her solitude.

They can dance to the imagined waltzes of Chopin. They can dream like children with minds untainted by the stains of the world. They can love each other – slowly, ardently and undisguised by any man-made fashion.

By then, it will be the stars’ turn to gaze at them.

Do the stars gaze back? Now that’s a question.
- Stardust

Estellas Theme - Patrick Doyle

Unlocking the Case of the Ex

It’s been a while. It was hard at first. But the wounds have healed as separate lives are lived. However, one day, when they both least expect it, girl meets boy… again.

This is not a fantasy scenario. Time and again, men and women find themselves face-to-face with an ex — often unsure of whether to be open for relationships that range from the platonic to the romantic, or not.

It is said that when two former lovers remain friends, it can only either be that they are still in love with each other or are just carrying on the good sex. Can this be a general truth? How platonic can relationships with an ex really be? Are the typical 20 to 30-somethings open to second chances? If so, how likely is it then for a second chance to work out?

The following attempts to unlock the Case of the Ex are derived and concluded from a series of casual interviews over lunch, cocktails and online correspondences with a handful of Filipino men and women as young as 24 to as old as 37.

The interviews all seem to indicate a common truth: a purely platonic relationship with someone whom one had been physically or emotionally intimate with is impossible. There will always be a desire or a tendency to re-live memories and repeat old habits, even if both parties are already involved with their new partners. It is only out of ethical reasons that such desires and tendencies are not acted upon. (And ethics die in the spirit of alcohol or one single touch at the “wrong” place.”) For “friendship” to properly work under this set up, and without anyone ending up hurt because of concealed expectations, routines must be stopped and treatments must be different. There should no longer be any sort of displays of affection. An ex in this setting and an ordinary friend must be dealt with similarly. In the end, when one is really over an ex, the only sure way to be friends in a purely platonic level is through being civil – the hi and hello, I’m fine and so are you, bye and see you whenever type. No touch. No lust.

Small breakups do occur in most relationships. Some may take just a day while others may extend even to a couple of months. No guideline or formula can really determine what makes a boyfriend or a girlfriend an ex. It is a case-to-case thing and only the parties involved can tell when it is finally the end.

The respondents are mostly open to the idea of reviving a closed relationship; one even claiming that the heart is not selective: when it is really open, it grants access to all – regardless if an ex or not. However, the following factors seem to play a crucial role in deciding for another try:

1. the reason and manner of the breakup


2. the length of time apart


3. the current status of both parties
   

It is usually hard to make a badly ended relationship work again. There are many who would not consider getting back with an ex who made a grave mistake, believing that lessons learned should be used to prevent history from repeating itself.

Meanwhile, there seems to be no wound that time cannot heal. Time gives room for people to accept and forgive. When both are achieved by both parties in their period of separation, then it becomes possible start anew.

Lastly, of course, current conditions should be considered. It cannot be serious when both are already married, unless they are in Hollywood. Right?

It takes effort to make things work in serious second chances. Things are easier when they remain trivial or when they downgrade from serious to trivial. There is a risk, however, of one being hurt as expectations cannot be avoided once old passions are re-kindled. It will entirely have to depend on who is brave enough to face the risk… or who is stupid enough to make the same mistake all over again.

Case closed.




I would like to thank the following persons for responding to my inquiries: Mr. Anonymous, Mr. Ex, Cat Ramos, Mrs. Cullen, Mr. “Outsider,” Ms. Fireness and MFV.

This is my first attempt to pull a Candace Bushnell (or a fictional Carrie Bradshaw. This is originally posted at my personal Multiply account.

Please feel free to get in touch with me if there is anything that you would like me to write about.