The love that keeps me alive

Found this while blog hopping...

Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way.

What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything.

Pedro Arrupe, SJ.

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This is why I try to help myself in retaining a healthy relationship with God.

Given the requirements of the workaday world--deadlines to meet, meetings to attend, parental curfews to follow and most of all, my mommy responsibilities which I have to fulfill, it's not that hard to lose focus and neglect one's responsibilities to Him. It does not mean yet that faith was lost in the process. But then, it could be. Continuously putting aside prayers, reflections and going to church weakens the relationship and may eventually cause our love and faith for Him to weaken.

Okay, I'm here again talking about God. I know I am so unworthy of writing about Him. I know.

I found myself putting visits to chapel, confessions, moments alone and going to mass on my "mamaya na/saka na lang list" for so many times already. Most of the time, there's an inner voice that seems to be calling me. Whenever I prolong choosing to ignore this voice, I always end up in "days of turmoil."

I think this is because by ignoring the voice, I have displaced God from being in the center of my life to being in the least of my priorities. Whenever this happens, I make myself vulnerable to temptations, end up doing bad things and feel even more unworthy. Thus, I move further away from God.

On the other hand, I realized that by putting God in the center of my life, there follows a strong desire to be good. There also seems to be less fear. I don't know if it's just me or if it's a natural thing for everybody, but I usually get the vibe whenever shitty things are bound to occur. But with my faith intact and my relationship with God being healthy as ever, I always have the courage to face uncertainties and challenges.

Yes, I love God. I am in love with Krissy (my daughter) and with my dreams for the two of us and our family.

This love keeps me alive.